We’re already halfway through January—can you believe it?
Maybe you were one of those people who started off 2021 by saying “I’m gonna do a bunch of epic shit this year.” Then you went on social media or were chatting with friends and all of a sudden the comparison kicked in—and you went into self-sabotage, shame, isolation, or burnout.
At the beginning of January, I was feeling it too.
I woke up one day and was feeling blue—and I wasn’t sure why.
I tend to work a lot and don’t take enough time to play. That’s because early on in my life when I played, things went bad. But now I have all the proof in the world that when I play more, I make more.
Even though I know this, I still resist it.
That’s because I fall into the trap of the “doing more means I make more” mindset. And this is a common theme for us all, although it doesn’t look the same for everyone.
When going into comparison mode, one of the things that allows me to keep myself in check are the Stances.
The Stances define our social style of how we get what we want or need.
It’s a look at how we move through the world based on the wounding we experienced in childhood.
What happens is we lose the ability to balance all three of your intelligence centers: the thinking, feeling and doing. This leads to one of those centers being more repressed than the others.
By knowing your Stance for your type, you’ll learn how to tap into your repressed center.
When I play more, I make more.
When we can understand the “why” and the motive behind what we do, the chances of us leaning into compassion, empathy, love, grace, really kick in.
1’s move towards what will earn them autonomy by following the rules and doing what’s right.
2’s move towards what will earn them praise and acceptance by focusing on helping others.
6’s move towards what will help them feel safe and certain by building a secure environment and aligning themselves with the group.
To grow in anything, we usually have to do the opposite thing of what our natural reaction is to crisis.
3’s move against what’s in the way of their goals.
7’s move against what gets in their way of happiness.
8’s move against what gets in the way of their agenda.
Stream of consciousness journaling is a valuable technique to flesh out the repressed emotions.