I never looked at the Enneagram like it was a trend or something cute to share on Instagram.
From the moment it barreled into my life, I knew I was holding something sacred.
Not just a personality system. A map. A divine tool that arrived the moment I was finally ready to receive what I had intuitively known since I was nine years old…but never had language for it.
Because I’ve always seen what most people miss.
The patterns. The protection. The parts of you that were born in pain but perfected in performance.
I’ve always felt it in people…the ache, the armor, the untapped edge just waiting to be reclaimed.
And when the Enneagram entered my life, it didn’t teach me something new. It gave me the keys to what had always been there.
That’s why I’m fiercely protective of how it’s being shared today.
Because let’s be real: the way most people are using the Enneagram keeps them entertained, not transformed.
It’s cute content. It’s branding. It’s another box to check.
But this tool was never meant to slap a number on your forehead and send you on your way.
It was meant to break your patterns wide open—and bring you back home to yourself.
So today, I’m giving you five unpopular opinions about the Enneagram.
Not to shame how you’ve used it—but to set the record straight… and set you free.
1. You are not your number. But you do have a home base.
Let’s get something straight: You are not a 2. Or an 8. Or a 3.
You are a whole human being with divine wiring…and your Enneagram type is the sacred blueprint of that design.
It’s not trendy. It doesn’t shift with your mood or life stage. And it’s not something you become.
It’s who you’ve always been. Before the world told you who to be. Before the pressure, the proving, the performance.
Your core type is your home base.
It’s where your deepest motive lives.
It’s the energetic place your body returns to when things get uncertain, overwhelming, or intense.
And just like a home, it’s meant to ground you…not confine you.
You’re designed to move. To stretch. To access the full wisdom of the framework.
But knowing where “home” is matters.
Because when you know your home base, you know the origin of your patterns—and the difference between who you had to be and who you truly are.
And that’s where most people get it wrong.
They build entire identities around adaptive strategies.
They call survival instincts their truth.
They confuse old wiring for authenticity…when really, it’s the echo of who they became to make life feel safer.
So no, you are not your number.
But when you understand the truth of your type…your soul’s original language—everything changes.
Your relationships shift. Your leadership sharpens. Your nervous system stops bracing.
And you finally remember who the hell you are… and who you’ve always been.
2. Your wings aren’t optional—they’re essential.
If you’ve ever been told you’re a 7 with a 6 wing…as if that’s all there is to it…you’ve been sold a partial truth.
You don’t choose one wing like you’re picking a side dish. You have two wings. Always.
And learning to access both is the key to wholeness.
Your wings aren’t accessories. They’re extensions of your soul’s full range.
They each hold qualities and resources that your core type alone doesn’t fully carry.
They aren’t distractions from your type…they’re the support structures that help you live it more fully.
Most people cling to the wing that feels safer or more familiar…the one that reinforces what they already know how to be.
But the other wing?
The one that stretches you? The one that calls up the parts of you that haven’t been fully expressed yet?
That’s usually the one that holds your growth edge.
When you lean into both wings, they stabilize your forward motion. They offer balance, perspective, and adaptability. They help you lead, love, and live with greater range and resiliency.
If you’ve felt like you’re circling the same patterns over and over again…
If you’ve struggled to integrate your insight into action…
It might be because you’ve been flying with one wing.
You were built for more than that.
When both wings are honored and engaged, something profound happens:
You stop gripping. You start gliding.
You stop fixing. You start flying forward.
3. If you don’t know your subtype, you don’t really know your type.
Here’s what most people don’t tell you:
Your core type might explain your fears and motives, but your subtype shows how you instinctively respond to life happening around you.
And that response can look wildly different—even between people with the same Enneagram type.
A Self-Preservation 6? They’ll seek safety through control, routines, and physical security.
A Social 6? They’ll hyper-focus on group dynamics, belonging, or loyalty.
A One-to-One (Sexual) 6? They’ll zero in on intensity in one-on-one connections, building or testing bonds.
Same core type. Same core fear. But the way they navigate the world—and what they prioritize for safety…couldn’t look more different.
That’s why understanding your subtype is non-negotiable if you want to work with the Enneagram at a level that actually transforms lives.
Because without this layer, you’ll miss the nuances that drive behavior—and you’ll almost certainly end up mistyped.
In fact, this is the number one reason most people land on the wrong type through quizzes or assessments. (Even the paid ones.)
They answer questions based on external behaviors…behaviors deeply shaped by instinctual drives they don’t even know they’re operating from.
And here’s why that matters:
When you’re mistyped, you’re given the wrong map.
The wrong strategies. The wrong tools.
It’s like trying to navigate a mountain range with a city map…you’ll waste time, energy, and end up more lost than before.
When you understand subtypes, you unlock precision.
You see exactly how your fear shows up in your patterns.
You recognize how the people you love instinctively move through challenge or stress.
You gain the kind of insight that turns generic advice into deeply personal wisdom.
4. Knowing your type won’t change your life. Living it will.
I see it all the time: people collecting Enneagram wisdom like rare books on a shelf…proud to own them, but never opening the pages to change their story… memorizing every type, every wing, every tritype, and reading every book they can get their hands on.
And yet… their patterns haven’t changed.
Their relationships still cycle through the same conflicts.
Their leadership still hits the same walls.
Their lives still feel stuck.
Why?
Because the Enneagram isn’t meant to be understood…it’s meant to be lived.
True integration doesn’t happen in your head.
It happens in your body, in real time, when you catch yourself about to slip into an old pattern—
and you choose something different instead.
That moment of pause? That pivot? That’s where the magic is.
That’s where transformation stops being theoretical and starts becoming embodied.
It’s why mindset alone isn’t enough.
You can have all the awareness in the world, but if it doesn’t translate to new ways of being…if you’re not practicing what you’ve learned in the heat of the moment—nothing changes.
This is where most Enneagram teaching falls short:
It gives you labels and language, but not the integration tools you need to break cycles in the moments that matter most…conversations with your partner, guiding your kids, showing up in your business, or facing your own self-sabotage.
This is why in my work…and especially in my certification…I don’t just teach information.
I teach integration.
Because you don’t need more data.
You need the embodied capacity to actually live differently.
When you do?
The Enneagram stops being interesting…and starts becoming life-changing.
5. Your mask will fool every quiz.
This is the hill I’ll die on:
Most online quizzes and even many popular paid assessments don’t actually type your core.
They type your mask.
Here’s why that matters:
Your mask is the collection of behaviors, attitudes, and strategies you’ve developed to protect yourself…often unconsciously—so you could feel safe, significant or have total control.
It’s the skill you’ve perfected to navigate a world that, at times, felt unsafe or unforgiving. Or both.
But the Enneagram was never meant to type the masks you’ve learned to wear.
It was created to reveal your motive…the deep why underneath everything you do.
Because it’s only when you understand the motive that you can dismantle the mask and start living from your truth.
This isn’t theoretical for me.
For over a decade, I’ve stood on stages speaking to thousands about smashing the masks we’ve spent our lives crafting…
because I know firsthand how they keep you from the connection, love, leadership, and legacy you’re here for.
And this is exactly why the assessments and quizzes get it wrong so often:
They measure how you act. But your behavior is shaped by trauma, conditioning, and circumstances…none of which necessarily reflect the core motive your Enneagram type is built on.
When you rely on tests alone, you’re given a surface-level snapshot of who you seem to be…
not who you actually are underneath the layers you’ve used to stay safe.
And without knowing the difference, you can spend years trying to grow from a false starting point.
That’s why mistyping is so common…and so costly.
When you learn to identify and honor your true motive, you can drop the mask you’ve outgrown.
You can release the pressure to keep performing.
You can finally lead, love, and live from your authentic self.
This is the heart of my work…and why I teach you how to read patterns, ask disruptive questions, and see beyond the mask to the soul-level truth.
Because when you hit the root motive, it’s undeniable.
And that moment changes everything.
So… why does this matter?
Because if you don’t know your true wiring, you’ll keep repeating patterns that feel familiar but quietly drain your peace, purpose, and potential.
Because every time you try to change without understanding what’s actually driving you, you end up hustling harder instead of healing deeper.
You pour your energy into micromanaging behaviors instead of transforming the belief systems and instincts that created them.
Because this isn’t just about you.
It’s about how your unexamined patterns affect your relationships, your kids, your teams, your legacy.
When you’re stuck in old survival strategies, you unconsciously teach the people around you to shrink or overcompensate too…no matter how beautiful your intentions are.
Because the Enneagram isn’t here to give you a personality box or something cute to post on Instagram.
It’s not entertainment.
It’s here to show you the path to real freedom.
Freedom from the stories you had to write when you didn’t feel safe.
Freedom to make new choices rooted in truth, not trauma.
Because when you know your type at the root…along with the framework connected to it, you stop wasting years chasing surface-level change.
You start experiencing the kind of integration that can only happen when your soul and nervous system are on the same page.
Because when you do this work, you don’t just feel better.
You show up with more love, more courage, and more clarity for every person you lead, raise, and care for.
That’s why this matters.
That’s why I refuse to offer anything less.
Ready to learn the Enneagram like this?
This September, I’m opening the doors to my inaugural Enneagram Certification cohort…an immersive, soul-deep experience for those who want to use this tool with precision, integrity, and radical compassion.
🔥 For a limited time, I’m offering a special opportunity to join the first cohort.
If you’re ready to break patterns, change lives—including your own—and use the Enneagram as it was always meant to be used…
Doors open soon. Secure your spot now with the special limited time savings
👉 I WANT IN !!!
This isn’t just another certification.
It’s your chance to master the Enneagram in a way that actually transforms lives—starting with your own.
Let’s raise the bar on what this work can be, together.
Comments +