The Enneagram Type One: The Reformer
It’s EnneaTalk Tuesday, and this week we are officially diving into our series—starting off with The One: The Reformer, and how to lead, learn, laugh, and love a One. Even if you are not a Type One, chances are that you either are leading, loving, or friends with one, and listening to this episode can help you truly see eye-to-eye with each other, minimize miscommunication, and help you see, hear, and understand them.
Listen to this episode to hear the do’s and don’ts when communicating with a One, their healthy attributes and core motivations, how to help them navigate towards growth, and recognize when they are under stress. Listen to this episode for everything you need to know when leading, learning, laughing, and loving a One.
Knowing your type so you can better know yourself
I begin this episode by explaining how the Enneagram can help us get out of the box the world has put us in, and how it can be used as our greatest tool to understand one another. I describe what it means for the One to be part of the body triad, how they primarily show up based on instinct and tuition, and how overall, they are rational, idealistic, principled, purposeful, and perfectionistic—how integrity means everything to them.
Communicating and supporting a One
I describe their core motivations and how the right or wrong communication can impact their self-confidence and morale, how to support them and recognize when the behaviors they fall into become unhealthy. I dig into what it is like to be in a relationship with a One, how to be effective when communicating with them, and what it takes to show up in their love language through affirmation and appreciation.
Embracing and recognizing the One’s gifts
I share the One’s gifts, what you can learn from them, how to lead them and guide them in growth, how they can internalize criticism, be their own worst critic, and how to help them be the best version of themselves. I discuss where they go when their healthy, how to support their laughter, and the very things that make them unique and special in this world. If you are a One, lean into your gifts, show yourself compassion, and enjoy what life has to offer.
“Even if you’re not a 1, chances are either you’re parenting one, you’re leading one, you’re in love with one, or you have a friend that’s one.” :27
“It’s really, really important that if you are interested in using the Enneagram as a tool for yourself for self awareness in business, in leadership, parenting that you yourself are typed properly.” 2:17
“The type 1 falls into the body category, which means that they primarily show up, operate, communicate based on instincts and intuition.” 4:01
“The motive of the 1 is that you believe that you must be good and right to be worthy.” 4:45
“Their focus of attention for a Type One is always what is right or wrong, correct and incorrect, they’re very black and white.” 6:01
“Dismissing them is not something that you want to do, you kind of have to use kid gloves, and I mean that with the most respect.” 9:51
“If you love a 1 or you’re leading a 1, trying to get them to lighten up and have more fun—it’s important, however you have to be careful it isn’t at the cost of judging their integrity or something that they deem is important.” 13:11
“It’s a beautiful thing for a 1, they will go to the ends of the earth and they’re willing to make great personal sacrifices for the wellbeing of the people that they love.” 18:33
“If their partner criticizes them or has something to say, that’s where the melodramatic can come in but they can also become critical of their partner, like nagging and nitpicking.” 21:24
“If you’re gonna challenge the opinion of a Type One, make sure you do it with affirming some positivity in the front end.” 26:03
“When you’re surrounded by 1’s, just know that things can go very smoothly, humor them a little bit, you can have fun with their perfectionists ways, but it’s really important that we let them have fun without disrespecting their standards.” 31:33