I don’t like being helped.

I’m not proud of that. I’m not trying to brand it as “independent woman energy” or any bullshit like that.

I just learned, somewhere along the line, that letting people help me meant I was weak. Or needy. Or worse……gulp, vulnerable.

So I became the one who helped everyone else.
The fixer. The strong one. The vault. The strategist. The rescuer.
If there was pain, I transmuted it. If there was chaos, I brought clarity. If there was a fire, I walked straight into it and dragged people out. AND I’m really great at it.

And for a while, that worked. It worked so damn well that I built an entire career doing it—and one that I love.

But underneath?

I was resisting life.

The softness. The slowness. The surrender.
The truth that I couldn’t do it all… and wasn’t meant to.
None of us are.
(My Enneagram 8-ness wants to call bullshit, but it knows better… NOW.)

See, resistance doesn’t always look like fear.
Sometimes it looks like being the most capable person in the room.
Sometimes it looks like serving everyone but yourself.
Sometimes it looks like white-knuckling your calling, alone, because asking for help feels more terrifying than failure.

That’s how resistance tricked me.

It told me I was in charge.
It told me I was powerful.
It told me no one else could be trusted to carry what I carried.

And I believed it.

Even when my body broke down. Even when I was exhausted. Even when the people who loved me most said, “You don’t have to do this alone,” I still held the line.

Because resistance seduced me.

It wore my strengths like a costume… turned my independence into isolation, my drive into avoidance, my power into protection.

And the world cheered me on.

But inside? I felt the reckoning.

I didn’t need a new goal. I didn’t need a better morning routine. I didn’t need more clarity or structure or affirmation.

I needed to be honest: I was scared.

Scared that letting someone help me would expose how tired I actually was.
Scared that if I put down the weight, someone would see how much I’d been hiding behind it.
Scared that if I received something… care, support, softness… it would all unravel and I would be so exposed.

That was my resistance.
It didn’t come with a warning label. It came with a gold star.
And it almost cost me the edge I was born with.

---

Here’s what I know now:

Resistance isn’t always your enemy.
Sometimes it’s a teacher. A threshold. A mirror showing you exactly where the armor’s been doing all the talking.

And that’s why I use and teach the Enneagram the way that I do… not to label myself (or you), but to listen better. To get so fucking compassionately curious.
To recognize when I’m moving from truth… and when I’m moving from survival.

The Enneagram doesn’t just show you who you are.
It shows you where you hide.
It shows you how resistance disguises itself as virtue… until you start believing the lie that staying strong means staying alone.

---

But here’s what’s in it for you… when you learn to use this tool for real:

You stop confusing movement for momentum.
You stop calling fear “intuition” and avoidance “strategy.”
You start making aligned decisions with your whole self… not the fragmented version built on survival, protection, or avoidance.

You reclaim your time, your voice, your power.
You stop morphing into what everyone else needs and finally start becoming who you already are.
You lead without betraying yourself.
You love without performing.
You build things that don’t just look good… they feel true in your bones.
AND, in doing so, you serve everyone (including yourself) at the highest levels.

You quit co-signing energetic bankruptcy trying to hold up the mask and start building the legacy only you were meant to carry.

And here’s the wildest part:
The more you understand your operating system and natural wiring, the less resistance has a grip on you.
Because now? You see it coming.
You don’t run from it… you read it.
You lead through it.

You stop surviving your life and start owning it.

---

🎧 If this is resonating…

If your resistance has been hiding behind achievement or caretaking or perfection or peacekeeping… or insert your sneaky resistance mask…

This week’s episode of The Enneagram Edge was made for you:

👉 Listen to “Resistance in Disguise- You Justify It, The Enneagram Exposes It” right now.

It’s not fluffy. It’s not cute.
It’s the real work of reclaiming your edge.

Not through hustle.
But through honesty.

Because your resistance doesn’t need you to try harder.
It needs you to show up… fully, finally, and for real.